Red Hot Zone

Brave Players

2006-03-29T14:14:00.000-08:00

Prime Minister addresses to the nation

2006-03-26T11:18:00.000-08:00

When an angry wife cooks food..!!!!!

2006-03-23T03:49:00.000-08:00

Dr. Smith’s Remedy

2006-03-13T04:24:00.000-08:00

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts.
Dr. Smith advised her, “Every day after your shower rub your chest and say, “Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies.”
She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew terrific D-cup boobs!
One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic realised she had forgotten her morning ritual.
Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn’t recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, “Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies.”
A guy sitting nearby looked at her, “By any chance, are you a patient of Dr. Smith’s?”
“Why, yes I am… How did you know?”
He leaned closer, winked and whispered, “Hickory dickory dock…”

Use of an old computer

2006-03-10T01:37:00.000-08:00

Malaika

2006-03-07T02:05:00.000-08:00

Amisha

2006-03-06T07:36:00.000-08:00

Priyanka Chopra

2006-03-06T00:42:00.000-08:00

An American

2006-03-04T07:02:00.000-08:00

A gum-chewing American and a Belgian are sitting together in a restaurant.
The American feels really proud to be an American, so he starts a conversation.
He asks the Belgian, "When you eat bread, do you eat all of it?"
"Mais oui!, of course!" responds the Belgian.
"Well" says the American,"we only eat the soft part of it. The rest we collect in containers, take to a factory and put through a mill. What comes out are little breads that we sell in Belgium." "And what about steaks?" he continues."Do you eat all parts of them?"
"Bien sur! We do" replies the Belgian.
"You don't say!" says the American, grinning. "We don't! We only eat the meaty part of the steak. The greasy part we collect in containers, take to a factory, put through a mill, and what comes out are little steaksthat we sell in Belgium."
Now the Belgian is really riled.
So he asks,"And what do Americans do with their used condoms? "
"Hey, we throw them away of course," says the American.
"Ha!" exclaims the Belgian. "We collect them in containers, take them to a factory and put them through a mill. What comes out is chewing gum that we sell in America!"

Microsoft - A rare pic

2006-03-04T05:38:00.000-08:00

Founders of Google

2006-03-04T05:34:00.000-08:00

Larry Page(L) and Sergey Brin(R), founders of Google.
Google was originally named 'Googol'.
After founders (Stanford graduates) Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor...
they received a cheque made out to 'Google' !...
So they kept name as GOOGLE

Ayesha Takia

2006-03-04T05:04:00.001-08:00

A Fair Trial

2006-03-04T05:04:00.000-08:00

In a trial, a small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied,"Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney almost died!
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said,"If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

Mahima

2006-03-04T04:58:00.000-08:00

Mallika Sherawat - Red Hot

2006-03-04T02:59:00.000-08:00

Sushma Reddy

2006-03-04T02:34:00.000-08:00

contributed by dj imran

In Hell

2006-03-04T00:13:00.000-08:00

A man,in his 40's,suddenly dies and finds himself in hell.The devil comes to greet him.
D: Welcome,welcome.You probably noticed by now,you're in hell.
M: Uh,yeah,bummer
D: Oh,hell's not so bad.For one thing,it's always warm here,you'll never be cold
M: Hmm,that's true
D: And we do lots of fun things here.For instance,do you like gambling?
M: YEAH!
D: Well,Mondaynight is gamblingnight!
M:Cool!
D: Do you like drinking?Whisky,wodka,rum,ya know
M: HELL YEAH!
D: Well,Tuesdaynight is drink all you can.Who cares,you're allready dead!
M:Wooohoooo!
D: Do you like smoking?
M: Uh!How do you think I died?
D: Well,Wednesdaynight we smoke all the best cigarettess,cigars and herbs.Who cares,you're allready dead!
M:Wow man!Hell sure ain't all that bad
D: Now,do you happen to be gay?
M: WHAAAAAT?No way man,I'm as hetero as they come
D: OUCH!You're gonna hate Thursdays....

A hot pic

2006-03-03T23:29:00.000-08:00

Ayesha takia

2006-03-03T23:27:00.000-08:00

Thing’s a man shouldn’t say to a woman during sex

2006-03-03T09:33:00.000-08:00

“Oops! It seems to have come off.”
“If you come quick, I can catch the game on TV.”
“You look just like your mother.”
“You’re better than your mother.”
“Did you remember to lock the back door?”
“And to think, I was really trying to pick up your friend!”
“You carry on, but do you mind if I finish this book?”
“What’s for dinner tomorrow?”“I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs.”
“It’s my mobile! I must answer it.”
“I can see right up your nose.”
“Oh, by the way, the cat got run over this afternoon.”
“That boil on your chin looks nasty.”
“Did I tell you my aunt Agatha died in this bed?”
“Linda used to do that.”“Do you accept Visa?”
“It’s nice being in bed with a woman I don’t have to inflate.”
“I keep having fantasies about Barbara Bush,”
“Did I mention the video camera?”
“Hurry up -this room rents by the hour.”
“Sorry about that -must be the baked beans.”
“This would be fun with a few more people.”
“Try not to leave any stains, OK?”
“I’ve just thought of the answer to 3 down. I won’t be a second.”
“Shall! do my impression of Officer Dibble?”
“Do you know the definition of statutory rape?”
“Keep it down. My mother is a light sleeper,”
“I see that mad axeman’s still on the loose.”
“Is that it? Can I go now?”

Things a girl shouldn’t say to a man during sex:

“And yet your feet are so big!”
“Don’t worry, we’ll work around it.”
“I guess this makes me the early bird.”
“Try not to smear my make-up.”
“At least this won’t take long.”
“I want a baby.”
“Do you know the ceiling needs painting?”
“Maybe we should call Dr Ruth.”
“Is that blood on the headboard?”
“Did I remember to take my pill?”
“It’s just a rash.”
“Sorry about the name tags, but I’m not very good with names.”
“Does it come with an air pump?”
“But it still works, right?”
“Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?”
“But everybody looks funny naked.”
“Do you smell something burning?”
“On second thoughts, let’s turn off the lights.”
“You must be cold.”
“Don’t mind me. I always file my nails in bed,”
“Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.”
“Maybe it looks better in natural light,”
“Maybe you’re just out of practice.”
“When is this supposed to feel good?”
“It’s a good thing you’re rich.”

Prince Charles marriage and the pope

2006-03-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope Died

Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament
4. Pope Died

Mamta Kulkarni - famous controvertial pic

2006-03-03T02:58:00.000-08:00

Kareena Kapoor hots up Maxim!

2006-03-03T00:20:00.000-08:00

Holy Water

2006-03-02T11:59:00.000-08:00

Nuns are admitted to Heaven through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels. Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy. "And so," says St. Peter, "have you ever had any contact with a penis?"
"Well," says the first nun in line," I did once just touch the tip of one with the tip of my finger." "OK" says St. Peter, "Dip your finger in holy water and pass into heaven.
The next nun admits that "Well yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged it a bit."
"OK" says St. Peter, "Rinse your hand in holy water and pass on into heaven."
Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut in front.
"Well now, what's going on in here?" says St. Peter.
"Well your excellency," says the nun who is trying to improve her position in line, "if I'm going to have to gargle that stuff, I want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her a$$ in it."

Amisha

2006-03-02T09:51:00.000-08:00

Typical husbands…

2006-03-02T02:54:00.000-08:00

A husband is at home watching a cricket match when his wife interrupts: “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.”
He looks at her and says angrily. “Fix the light? Now does it look like I have Electrician printed on my forehead? I don’t think so.”
“Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won’t close right.” To which he replied - “Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have fridge technician written on my forehead? I don’t think so.”
“Fine,” she says “Then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They’re about to break.”
“I’m not a darn carpenter and I don’t want to fix the steps,” he says. “Does it look like I have carpenter written on my forehead? Don’t think so. I’ve had enough of you. I’m going to the bar!!!”
So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts feeling guilty about the way he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out.
As he walks into the house he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.
“Honey, how’d all this get fixed?”
She said, “Well, when you left I sat outside and cried, just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either going to bed with him or bake a cake.”
He said, “So what kind of cake did you bake him?”
She replied, “Hellooooo…. Do you see Monginis Bakery written on my forehead?”

Bill Gates Strikes a Pose for Teen Beat Photospread, 1983

2006-03-01T07:17:00.000-08:00

Controvertial Pic of Pooja Bhatt

2006-02-28T12:35:00.000-08:00

Mamta Kulkarni

2006-02-28T12:31:00.000-08:00

Negar Khan

2006-02-28T12:18:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time in a bar

2006-02-28T12:03:00.000-08:00

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!"
Everyone expects a fight but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was s-w-e-et!"
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"
Finally the guy interrupts, "Go home, Dad, you're drunk!"

Unbelievable Questions!!!

2006-02-28T09:13:00.000-08:00

Q1. RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )

Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI !
Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)

Q3. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? :-)
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener

Q4. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?
Ans:- Dil Chhata Hai!

Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India?? Socho...............
Ans:- HindustanLever (Leaver).

Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
Ans:- adidas

Q8. Luv and Kushare going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls into the well. Why ? Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!

Now Kushalso jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.
Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!

Q9. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..??
Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans - D'cold

Q10. chalo ab batao... Jackie Chan ki bahu ka naam kya hai ? this is quite simple..
Ans:- D'Cold again kyunki saans bhi kabhi bahu thi

Q11. Jugal Hansraj and Mayuri Kango bus stop par khade the. Bus aayi - Mayuri gayi, magar Jugal nahin gaya- kyon?
Ans:- Because Mayuri 'can - go'.

Q12. Sharukh Khan aur Kajol bus stop pe khade hain. Kajol chali gayi, par Sharukh bus pe nahin chada - kyon?? think harder...
Ans:-Kyonke woh Kajol ko chhodne aaya tha. Ha, ha, ha... Ek aur muaka de hi dete hain tumhe

Q13.! kamal ,vimal do bhai they,dono bus stop pe khade the.. bus aai vimal chad jata hai per kamal nahin jata hai why???
Ans :- Kyonkieeeeee bus per likha tha ONLY VIMAL !!!!!

Q15. Kadar Khan aur Shakti Kapoor dono bus stop pe khade the... bus aai aur Kadar Khan chad jata hai per Shakti Kapoor nahin jata Qyo???
Ans :- Qyonkieeeeeee woh Shakti Kapoor dusri bus ke wait kar raha tha

Q16. Amitabh aur Pran dono bus estop pe khade the...bus aai aur Pran chad jata hai per Amitabh nahin jata Qyo???
Ans :- pran jaye per bacchan na jaye

Q17.Kapil Dev goes to Echo point and shouts loudly "Pamolive" But there dont come any echo sound why ?
Ans:- Because Palmolive ka jawab nahi !!

Aish

2006-02-28T04:06:00.000-08:00

Wrong number

2006-02-28T03:48:00.000-08:00

Hi honey, this is Daddy…..is your mommy near the phone?
No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank” Brief pause.
Daddy says: “But you haven’t got an Uncle Frank, honey.”
Yes I do. He’s upstairs with Mommy now.”
Daddy says: ”Honey, let’s play a joke. Put down the phone, knock on the bedroom door, and tell Mommy that Daddy’s home.”
”Okay, Daddy.” A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did what you said, Daddy.”
And what happened?”Well, Mommy jumped out of the bed, ran around screaming, then tripped over the rug and fell downstairs. She’s not moving anymore.”
“I’m sorry honey.
What about Uncle Frank?” ”He jumped out the back window into the swimming pool…but he must have forgotten that last week you took out all the water.
Swimming Pool ?? what swimming pool ?? Is it 212-5416-420.
Sorry Wrong Number.

Ayesha Takia

2006-02-28T03:34:00.000-08:00

Riya Sen

2006-02-28T03:25:00.000-08:00

Sardarji drinking breast milk

2006-02-27T13:48:00.000-08:00

One sad day Sardarji finds out from his doctor that he’s going to die. He asks the doctor if there is anything, anything at all that he can do to save his life.
After careful consideration and analysis the doctor tells him that he’ll have to drink a milk off a mom’s nipples who’s just recently become a mom for three consecutive days and he’ll live.
Sardarji all depressed reaches home where his whole family relatives and friends are there to share their sympathies. One of his childhood friends tells him “Yaar, tennu pata hai teri bhabi da munda howa hai, teri jaan de khaatir tu peela dood usse.” Sardarji all shy goes “Mein bhabi naalaisa kaise karsakta hoon.”
Friend: “Koi gal nahii oyee, tere se bharke thorehi hai!”
So Sardarji goes into the room where Sardarni is lying on the bed. While sucking on the nipples he gets her aroused and when he’s about to leave, Sardarni goes “Sardarji taanu kuj hor chaiida te manglo?”
Sardarji: “Nahii nahii bhabii, tussi mere liye enna kujh kita, o bohot hai.” And Sardarji goes home.Next day he comes back and again Sardarni all horny says “Sardarji taanu kuj hor chaiida te manglo?”
Sardarji: “Nahii nahii bhabii, tussi mere liye enna kujh karde pe o, bohot hai.”
Final day Sardarji comes and yet again Sardarni is again real horny “Sardarji tussi roz aandeo, aaj te kujh hor manglo tussi” Sardarji: “Chalo tussi kendeo te dood naal biscuit hojaan te mazza aajave!”

Miss Bin Laden (Osama's Niece)

2006-02-27T13:41:00.000-08:00

Useless Facts

2006-02-27T13:30:00.000-08:00

01) It is impossible to lick your elbow.
02) A crocodile can’t stick it’s tongue out.
03) A shrimp’s heart is in their head.
04) A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
05) On average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.
06) Rats and horses can’t vomit.
07) If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.
08) Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
09) Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
10) If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
11) The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
12) Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
13) A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
14) Most lipstick contains fish scales.
15) Cat’s urine glows under a black-light.
16) Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.

Husband in hospital

2006-02-27T09:51:00.000-08:00

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”
“What dear?” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to feel with warmth.
“I think you’re bad luck, get the fuck away from me.”

Never Giveup

2006-02-27T09:45:00.000-08:00

Madhuri Dixit

2006-02-27T09:35:00.000-08:00

Film Review - Taxi Number 9211 by Taran Adarsh

2006-02-27T01:29:00.000-08:00

With a title like TAXI NO. 9211, you expect a wacky film. Wacky it is, but there's more to this film than an unconventional, off the wall theme. The film borrows heavily from life, life in Mumbai in particular.
TAXI NO. 9211 is more of a Mumbaiya film. Set and shot in the metropolis, the film depicts a day in the life of two individuals whose paths collide on a fateful morning and life is never the same again. Though the identification for a Mumbai viewer may be tremendous, it nevertheless is a film that makes a bold statement about societal pressures and human conditions. And how external influences can compel an otherwise decent human being to do things that are despicable, shameful and disgraceful.
TAXI NO. 9211 may come across as an experiment in terms of material, but it signifies the changing face of Bollywood. Again, the material may seem soaked in Mumbai, but the soul is very Indian. The father-son relationship, personal equations that fluctuate with fluctuating bank balances/fortunes and the frustrations of the common man… the premise is so real.
In a nutshell, TAXI NO. 9211 may not boast of that archetypal masala Indian moviegoers have been spoon-fed for decades, but it's inventive and innovative. And, yes, it's thoroughly satisfying.
TAXI NO. 9211 tells the story of two men, both prey to anger, who get involved in an accident that brings out their worst qualities. They belong to the opposite ends of the social scale.
Raghav Shastri [Nana Patekar] is a short tempered cynic. He has changed 23 jobs in the last fifteen years. He is an insurance salesman to the world, but in reality, he's a caustic, instinctively witty cabbie who needs Rs. 30,000 to pay the grocery guy, the taxi owner, his kid's school fees.
Jai Mittal [John Abraham], the equally acidic heir to a resourceful business family [Aakash Khurana], has to go to court and prove his claim for Rs. 300 crores. Today is his last chance. A trusted aide [Shivaji Satam] of his father is the sole beneficiary. Naturally, Jai challenges the will in the court of law.
There was no reason for Raghav and Jai to meet. But circumstances bring them together. Now Raghav has something that Jai desperately needs [the key to the locker, where the will is safely kept] and Raghav is in no mood to return it. What follows is a cat and mouse game of one-upmanship, as Raghav and Jai go to increasingly unfriendly lengths to gain the upper hand.
Borrowing the basic premise from director Roger Michell's Hollywood flick CHANGING LANES [2002; Ben Affleck, Samuel L. Jackson], TAXI NO. 9211 defies the stereotype all the way. Not only does it boast of an innovative storyline [for the Indian viewers], even the storytelling is equally original. Right from the characters depicted on the screen to the hand-held camera movements to life-like performances, you need to watch TAXI NO. 9211 with no pre-conceived notions.
One of the prime reasons why TAXI NO. 9211 works is because of the unpredictable nature of the story. Right from the start, when an irritating John forces Nana to drive the vehicle faster, to the chaos that ensues, the first half of the enterprise keeps you spellbound.
A number of sequences stand out in the first hour:
1. Nana's characterization.
2. The conversation between Nana and John in the taxi.
3. John revealing Nana's true identity [he's a cabbie, not an insurance agent] to his wife Sonali Kulkarni.
4. Sequence between Sonali and Nana at the railway station, which leads to Nana bashing up a few miscreants.
5. The accident at the highway, when John's car loses balance and the speeding cars almost kill him.

The post-interval portions are equally riveting. The car chase between Nana and Sameera and later, between Nana and John, till a train bangs into Nana's car, is hair-raising. Ditto for the birthday sequence, which turns out to be the most memorable sequence of the enterprise. Even the end, when John tears the will on Shivaji Satam's face, is perfect. Also, the final sequence is worthy of note: John banging into Priyanka Chopra's car. Although Priyanka's presence has nothing to do with the plot, it does bring a smile on your face nonetheless.
TAXI NO. 9211 is director Milan Luthria's finest effort so far. The choice of the subject as well as the razor-sharp execution keeps you on tenterhooks all the while. Besides, Luthria presents the two diametrically opposite characters with utmost conviction. Rajat Arroraa's script is almost flawless. Of course, the basic nature of the theme would appeal more to the Mumbai viewer mainly, but the overall writing is foolproof.
Vishal-Shekhar's music gels well with the mood of the film. 'Bambai Nagaraiya' [rendered efficiently by Bappi Lahiri] is the best track, followed by 'Meter Down', which stands out also because of its snazzy execution. The song is sure to prove a hot favorite with the yuppie crowd. The background score [Vishal-Shekhar again] is trendy. Cinematography [Kartik Vijay] is of superior quality. The chases and stunts [Abbas Ali Moghul] act as an icing. Special mention must be made of the editing [Aarif Sheikh], which gives the filmed material that extra sheen.The performances are strong, especially those by the two leads. Nana Patekar, who never fails to give his all to a role, turns in another superlative effort, reflecting the despair and rage with brilliance. The actor is truly memorable in two sequences: First, when he lands up at his kid's school to bid him goodbye and two, when he breaks down while cutting his birthday cake. His witty one-liners are sure to bring the house down.John Abraham is eminently believable, enacting the role of a spoilt kid to perfection. With Nana as the co-star, you expect John to get completely eclipsed, but the actor stands on his feet and delivers a knockout performance.
Sameera Reddy doesn't impress. Also, she ought to watch her weight; she appears plump and needs better makeup. Sonali Kulkarni is exceptional. Her sequences with Nana are commendable. Kurush Deboo is first-rate. His sequences with both Nana and John are well enacted. Shivaji Satam gets minimal scope.Priyanka Chopra is there for star value only. Sanjay Dutt's prologue at the very start sets the mood of the film.On the whole, TAXI NO. 9211 is akin to a whiff of fresh air, a refreshing change from the mundane masala entertainers that you keep witnessing in rapid succession. At the box-office, its business at metros will be bountiful, with the business at multiplexes contributing enormously to the booty. Not surprisingly, its prospects in Mumbai will be the best due to the strong identification. Also, with no major release in sight for the next few weeks, the taxi's ride will be smooth, attracting hordes of passengers in the process. Strongly recommended!

Preeti Jhangiyani

2006-02-27T01:24:00.000-08:00

Stammer salesman selling bibles

2006-02-27T01:18:00.000-08:00

A man came into a shop with a ‘Salesman Wanted’ sign in a window. He went up to the owner and said, “I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j-joooob-b.” “I don’t know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment,” said the owner.
“I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this j-j-job!” said the man.
“O.K. Here are three Bibles. Go out and sell them.” said the owner.
So the man went out and came back an hour later. “H-here-sss your m-m-money.” said the man. The owner was impressed, so he gave the man a dozen more Bibles and sent him out. The man came back in two hours and said, “Her-ers y-yooour m-m-money.”
The owner said, “This is fantastic. You sold more Bibles in three hours than anyone has sold in a week. Tell me, what do you say to the people when they come to the door?”
“W-welllll,” said the man, “I r-r-ring the d-door bell, a-a-and s-s-say ‘H-Hel-Hello, M-m-maaaaddam, d-d-do you w-w-want t-t t-to buy thi-thi-this B-B-Bible, oooor d-d-do y-you w-w-want m’me t-toooo read it t-t-t-t-to you?”

Mahima

2006-02-26T15:06:00.000-08:00

Hrishita Bhatt

2006-02-26T14:58:00.000-08:00

Kareena drenched in water

2006-02-26T14:47:00.000-08:00

Riya Sen

2006-02-26T14:46:00.000-08:00

Shahrukh Pics from his school days

2006-02-26T14:37:00.000-08:00

Kareena

2006-02-26T14:30:00.000-08:00

Rekha from movie pran jaye par shan na jaye

2006-02-26T14:27:00.000-08:00

Amisha Patel

2006-02-26T14:25:00.000-08:00

Mallika Sherawat

2006-02-26T14:02:00.000-08:00

Bips does a JLo

2006-02-26T06:18:00.000-08:00

Remember this picture of Bipasha Basu? The one that was made so famous since it was part of Dabboo Ratnani’s calendar last year? Well, we did some snooping around and look what we found. A photograph of Jennifer Lopez, from where the inspiration has been drawn. And the desi version is an identical replica of the original. Even the costumes were not spared! It practically looks like a photocopy of the JLo photograph! How’s that for originality?

Bryan’s inspiring story

2006-02-25T04:45:00.000-08:00

Bryan came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Brian, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”. The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St Peter”. Brian was stunned “You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. you’ve got to send me back straight away”.
St Peter replied “Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.” Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. “This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen,how are you enjoying your first day here?” “It’s not so bad” replies Brian, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode”.“You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before”.
“Never” replies Brian
“Well just relax and let it happen”
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him… ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting “Brian, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you’re sh*tting on the bed.”

Cartoon: Latest Terrorist Threat - Bird Flu

2006-02-25T01:46:00.000-08:00

George Bush's Mailbox

2006-02-24T11:42:00.000-08:00

How To Catch a Lion

2006-02-24T11:31:00.000-08:00

Ø Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.Implies you caught lion

Ø Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will alsorun faster andwill get tired soon.Now you can trap it easily.

Ø Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proventhat its a Lion. Ifanyone comes back with issues tell that you willupgrade it to Lion.

Ø Indian Police Method:
catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it toaccept that its alion.

Ø IITian method:
Give fundebazi to lion, that you are the great andrest of people areusless..their life is not worthy... Lion will surrenderItself.

Ø George bush method:
Link the lion with osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

Ø Menaka Gandhi method:
save the lion from a danger and feed him with somevegetablescontinuously.

Ø Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Ø Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Ø Yash Chopra method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in agood sceniclocation.

Ø Karan Johar Method (director):
Send a lioness into the forest.Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.Send another lioness in to the forest, followed byanother lion.First lion loves the first lioness and the second lionloves the 2ndlioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now sendanotherlioness(third) into the forest.You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15yrs, then alsou wont !

Ø Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put thelion in a darkroom with a single candle lighted.Keep murmuring something in its ears.The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Ø Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM andkill it, whileit's sleeping !

Ø Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attackanytime.The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

Illusion

2006-02-24T11:25:00.000-08:00

Maria Sharapova bikini pics from Sports Illustrated

2006-02-24T11:13:00.000-08:00

Lady at a Lexus showroom

2006-02-24T11:11:00.000-08:00

A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes her.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn’t pop up right now. As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman.
“Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?” Very uncomfortably she asks, “Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?”
He answers, “Madame, I’m very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit when you hear the price.”

Merry Christmas

2006-02-24T11:04:00.000-08:00

Riya Sen

2006-02-24T11:01:00.000-08:00

Miss Pakistan swimsuit round pic

2006-02-24T10:36:00.000-08:00

Birdflu

2006-02-23T02:49:00.000-08:00

Obsessions with women’s breasts

2006-02-22T23:59:00.000-08:00

A middle-aged man had an obsession with women’s breasts. So he went to a psychologist and told the doctor about his problem.

“I am going to do word association,explained the doctor. “I am going to say a word, and you will say the first thing that come to your mind.”

“Oranges,” said the doctor.

“Breasts,” replied the patient.

“Apples.”

“Breasts.”

“Watermelons.”

“Breasts.”

“Wipers.”

“Breasts,” said the patient with the same reply.

“Wait a minute! I can see the connections between oranges, apples, watermelons and breasts. But automobile’s wipers? Where is the connection?” asked the doctor.

“Easy … one on the left and one on the right!”

Neha Dhupiya

2006-02-22T06:53:00.000-08:00

Smile Please

2006-02-22T06:45:00.000-08:00

Message* Behind every successful man, there is a great woman and behind every great woman, there is a smart guy staring at her butt.
* If you don’t believe in oral sex, keep your mouth shut.
* Opinion is like an ass hole, everyone has one.
* A mistress lies between a mister and a mattress.
* Chess players mate better.
* Excuses are like asses: everyone has em and they all stink.
* Squirrel who runs up woman’s leg do not find nuts.
* If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put you between F and CK.
* Sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.Marriage is the price men have to pay for sex.
* Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.
* If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you’re doing it wrong.
* There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don’t and stop, unless they are used together.
* The difference between a husband and a lover is the difference between day and night.
* I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.
* Prostitution is a hole sale business.
* A tight dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view.
* It is good for woman to meet man in park, but better for man to park meat in woman.
* What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
* Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
* Good sex can correct poor posture, or at least make it stand up straight.
* I’m not attracted by a girl’s mind … But by what she doesn’t mind.
* Guns don’t kill people… Husbands who come home early kill people.
* Gettin’ married is like getting into a bath tub.After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
* Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy!

Sushmita Sen

2006-02-22T06:43:00.000-08:00

Aishwarya Rai

2006-02-22T06:41:00.000-08:00

Gayatri Joshi

2006-02-22T06:38:00.000-08:00

Charging her husband for sex

2006-02-22T05:54:00.000-08:00

A woman went to a lawyer to discuss divorcing her husband. “Don’t you love him anymore?” asked the lawyer.“Oh, I still love him,” the chick replied.“But all he ever wants is sex, I can’t take it.”“Instead of divorcing him why don’t you try charging him every time he wants to make love?” the lawyer suggested.
The exhausted wife decided to give the plan a try. As soon as she walked into the house that night her husband put the hard word on her.
“Not so fast,” she replied. “From now on it’ll be $10 in the kitchen, $20 in the living room and $50 in the bedroom.”
“Well, then,” he said. “Here’s $50.”The wife began walking to the bedroom. ” Hold on,” he said, grabbing her hand. “That’ll be five times in the kitchen!”

Goshtly Phone Number - Very Funny

2006-02-22T05:49:00.000-08:00

Perfect breasts

2006-02-22T05:46:00.000-08:00

A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, “Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars?
“Are you nuts? !!” she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.
“Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?” he asks again.
“Listen you; I’m not that kind of woman! Got it?” So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. “Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?”
She thinks about it for a while and says, “Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let’s go to that dark alley over there.”
So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them.
The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, “Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?”
“Nah”, he replies. “Costs too much…”

Some Important Laws Which Newton Forgot to State…

2006-02-22T05:43:00.000-08:00

LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Film Review - Fight Club by Taran Adarsh

2006-02-22T05:41:00.000-08:00

Posters of the desi FIGHT CLUB instantly conjure images of the videshi FIGHT CLUB [1999; Brad Pitt, ''Michael Meatloaf Lee Aday]. But barring the title and the basic premise [of starting a fight club], there's nothing remotely similar about the two films. Having said that, let's also add that in this rapidly changing scenario, when Bollywood is churning out novel stories, a few storytellers continue to have faith in the tried and tested formula.FIGHT CLUB, directed by Vikram Chopra, is one such film.Nothing wrong if you believe in the oft-repeated masala, but you ought to go that extra mile to give all that and more to the viewer of today. Unfortunately, FIGHT CLUB is only style, no substance. The film bears a polished look all through, but how one wishes the makers would've served the entertainment-hungry moviegoer a sumptuous fare.Standing on a weak foundation [plot], the screenplay is nothing but an assemblage of a few well executed sequences. But let's not forget that gloss and glitter cannot substitute for an arresting plot. Visually and technically, FIGHT CLUB may be a notch above the ordinary, but when it comes to content and the overall impact, the zing and dynamism are clearly missing.To sum up, this 'club' will not find many members flocking it!FIGHT CLUB tells the journey of four friends, Vicky [ZayedKhan], Karan [Dino Morea], Somil [Ritiesh Deshmukh] and Diku [Aashish Chowdhry], who, in a constant endeavor to help each other, get entangled in a web of incidents, some romantic, many funny and all that test the extremes of their friendship.The four friends, who could be mistaken for brothers, are an example of wonderful camaraderie. The story takes a turn when Vicky stumbles upon the idea of a Fight Club, a club which gives people a platform to score with their enemies in an atmosphere of fun, action and excitement.Amidst the on-going fun, team Fight Club get entangled in affairs of the heart and mind with Anu [Dia Mirza] and Shonali [Amrita Arora], which thicken their bonds tighter… and make them travel to Delhi to look after a nightclub, 'Crossroads', which is in the eye of a storm created by Delhi's most dangerous ganglords.There's a twist in the tale as the ex-kingpin Anna's [Suniel Shetty] brother Mohit [Yash Tonk] gets killed. This fills Anna with vengeance and situations take an ugly turn. Dinesh [Ashmit Patel], a merciless soul, masterminds the plan of killing. His brother Sandy [Rahul Dev] gives him strong company, as always.Team Fight Club calls on their ace, Sameer [Sohail Khan], a bouncer, to tilt the balance in their favor. In the puffed up atmosphere of fists and fights, Sameer finds love in the name of Komal [Neha Dhupia]. Now, in a strange new city, these five boys from Mumbai experience love, passion and also the worst enemies in the form of ganglords.If there's one aspect that you carry home after FIGHT CLUBhas concluded, it's the skillfully executed action sequences. Of course, the film has to live up to the title, but not at the cost of throwing the story on the backseat. That's precisely the problem with FIGHT CLUB.Actually, come to think of it, the film stands on a feeble foundation. The basic premise -- of starting a fight club to settle scores with foes -- sounds juvenile. The concept may've appealed in the U.S., but expecting the Indian masses or the youth in particular to buy this idea is next to impossible.If the material is amateurish, the screenplay is of convenience completely. In fact, out of the 2.45 minutes' length of this film, half of it is devoted to either singing, dancing and light banter and the remaining half goes into fights, fights and more fights. The story, sadly, comes to the fore only in the penultimate reels.Director Vikram Chopra has concentrated more on visuals than content and that's the reason why the film fails to hold your attention. The sole aspect that stays alive even after the show has ended is the action sequences, but that's no compliment. It's a clear case of form overpowering content!Music [Pritam] is a mixed bag. Barring two tracks, the first song and 'Chhore Ki Baatein', which are foot tapping, the soundtrack is monotonous otherwise. Cinematography is eye-catching. The film has an upmarket look from start to end. Stunts are outstanding, but the MATRIX effects are getting repetitive. Dialogues lack novelty.The story doesn't demand histrionics, but the ones who stand out are, in this order, Zayed Khan, Dino Morea and Sohail Khan. Suniel Shetty is wasted. Ritesh also doesn't get much scope. Aashish Chowdhry irritates. Yash Tonk goes over the top. Ashmit Patel and Rahul Dev are okay. The leading ladies don't get much scope either, but Dia Mirza is easy on the eyes. Amrita Arora and Neha Dhupia are hardly there.On the whole, FIGHT CLUB is all style, no substance. But, let's not forget, all that glitters is not gold. At the box-office, it's one major disappointment!

Blonde - A School Story

2006-02-22T05:36:00.000-08:00

A girl came skipping home from school one day.
“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, ” we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. 10!
“Very good,” said her mother.
” Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“Yes, It’s because you’re blonde.”
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, ‘ we were saying the alphabet today and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B , C , D, E , F , G!”
“Very good,” said her mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“Yes, It’s because you’re blonde”
“The next day the girl came skipping home from school.“Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled ” we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls have flat chests, but I have these!” And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36cs.
“Very good,” said her embarassed mother.
“Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”
“No, honey. It’s because you’re 24!”

Amitabh and Playboy

2006-02-22T05:22:00.000-08:00

Lecture On Supernatural

2006-02-22T05:21:00.000-08:00

A professor at Oklahoma State University was giving a lecture of the supernatural. To get a feel for his class, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”About 90 students raise their hands.“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?”About 40 students raise their hands.“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?” About 15 students raise their hand.“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?” 3 students raise their hands.“That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.The professor takes off his glasses, and says “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, Bubba, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”Bubba replied, “Daaaang!!$!From way back thar I thought you said “goats.”

Khushboo - The Latest Controversy

2006-02-22T05:18:00.000-08:00

Khushboo's controvertial fake pic which a famous magazine maxim published in the cover page............and for which the actress has claimed 30 million rupees to the magazine.....